You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
