You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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