I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
