My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
