Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
