I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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