this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
