found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
