We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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