yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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