Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
