I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
