i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
