it wasn't lemon gatorade
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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