Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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