i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
