I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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