Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
