I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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