return my video game
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
