You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
