guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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