If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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