Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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