I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
