Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize