butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
