i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
