I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What a dumb baby whore.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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