This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Michael Bay diarrhea
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dicks are not precious.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
