I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
