hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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