is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just googled if crying burns calories
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize