Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
