I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
