It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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