Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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