I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
