I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
