i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
