Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
