Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The ass gains better be worth it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
