Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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