Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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