idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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