I think my vagina is haunted
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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