I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize