either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
