I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
