When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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