My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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