Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize