I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
