its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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