So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
