My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
two words...techno handjob
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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