From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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