Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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