How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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