Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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