I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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