Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
