i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
