I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
