in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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