That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
