That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
