Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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