ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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