Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
