I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
