return my video game
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need a beard to bite.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
